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SCENE XVI. Confessions of a Satisfactionist

1 CHRISTIANUS. Well, in my early twenties, after having been brainwashed a few years at my local university, I thought much like you do now. For in many university environments the professors more or less only preach various materialist scenarios. So I was influenced to think that there were no real alternatives to materialism.

2 KATHERINE. What happened, Chris?

3 CHRISTIANUS. Many things, of course. But the more I studied, the more I realized that materialism isn’t the only game in town; it is perfectly possible to construct very coherent world-views without accepting many of the core premises of modern ‘scientific’ materialism.

4 KATHERINE. So what is, in your opinion, unsatisfactory about the scientific theory that I just presented?

5 CHRISTIANUS. The overall problem is that your scenario is built on the assumption that death is the final frontier. So how can it not be unsatisfactory?

6 KATHERINE. Any more specific complaints?

7 CHRISTIANUS. Well, your argument only works if one assumes that consciousness is directly created by, or is a direct effect of, the activity of the physical brain. Your theory assumes that consciousness cannot be had without the brain.

8 KATHERINE. And why is that unsatisfactory?

9 CHRISTIANUS. It is unsatisfactory to me because it is built on the unproven premise that everything is material. It’s a scenario that simply is populated in such a way as not to include a soul. But if we really are souls who use our bodies as instruments, then basically all so-called scientific explanations that have to do with human perception and human agency are guaranteed to be wrong, on some level or other.

10 KATHERINE. But my scenario is not unsatisfactory to the scientists, is it?

11 CHRISTIANUS. You’re right: your scenario is not entirely unsatisfactory to them. They are interested in trying to sell in theories that are compatible with the kind of mortal and material consciousness that is so commonly promoted in the academic world; for how can they otherwise get published, get tenure, and keep their jobs at the universities?

12 KATHERINE. But you suggest that they are still unsatisfied?

13 CHRISTIANUS. Yes, at least some of them are.

14 KATHERINE. Why?

15 CHRISTIANUS. Because they are, on some level or other, also aware of their own little body-bombs. So even if they may be satisfied in the sense of having managed their own academic careers well, they are still worried about their incapability to handle their own, personal deaths.

16 KATHERINE. Hmmm.

17 CHRISTIANUS. And this is your problem, too. Even if you are a very successful lawyer, you are more or less miserable. And you can’t really be anything else until you have faced your own little body-bomb, and done something about it. For it will blow.

18 KATHERINE. I have to think about that.

19 CHRISTIANUS. Certainly! But be sure to get a good night’s sleep first. You must be completely exhausted by now, after today’s events!

20 KATHERINE. Yes, I am. But I had a really good time here with you!

21 CHRISTIANUS. I did too! So how long will you be staying before you go back to Florida?

22 KATHERINE. I don’t know. First of all, I really have to get some serious rest over here, and think some things over. But I also have to, as you already know, do some serious detective work to try to find my absolutely invaluable documents. So I am not sure. My guess would be around two weeks; but it could be both three and four too. It depends. We’ll see.

23 CHRISTIANUS. Sounds good, Katherine!

24 KATHERINE. So what do you think about meeting tomorrow? I would love to continue our little conversation!

25 CHRISTIANUS. Tomorrow? I am sorry, but I can’t. I have already booked a lunch meeting with a physics professor that I know.

26 KATHERINE. But maybe we can meet in the evening?

27 CHRISTIANUS. Katherine, I just can’t. You see, Tim is a very stubborn and demanding professor, and meeting with him is always very draining; so I expect to have zero conversational energy left in the evening. But what about Friday?

28 KATHERINE. Sure! Then I can take tomorrow off, and get a whole day just to myself, for a change.

29 CHRISTIANUS. Any particular time or place?

30 KATHERINE. Why not outside your favourite café sometime in the morning? You always tell me how nice it is in your emails!

31 CHRISTIANUS. Sure, that’s definitely doable. Would 10 a.m. work for you?

32 KATHERINE. Yes, that would be perfect.

33 CHRISTIANUS. And you have the address?

34 KATHERINE. You bet! I’ve already checked it out online!

35 CHRISTIANUS. All right. See you on Friday, then!

36 KATHERINE. Great! Take care!

37 CHRISTIANUS. You too!

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Notes (SCENE XVI)

[This scene has no notes in this version of the play.]

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HOW TO CITE: Bo C. Klintberg (2008), ‘Confessions of a Satisfactionist’ in Katherine’s Questionable Quest for Love and Happiness. Online edition of Philosophical Plays, 1 Jan. 2008. Retrieved [today’s date] from http://philosophicalplays.googlepages.com/pgKQQv1sc16.htm.

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